Moon Shadow Soul

Why did I take such a long break from writing, even though it is feasibly one of my favorite past times? This question only recently even became a ponder in my mind, because I had buried the desire to do what I love so deeply that I almost forgot the writer in me once existed.

Have you ever been around someone who seemed to have one goal in mind: to break you and change your mold? An individual who is so bored and unhappy with themselves that they cannot stand the sight of any light and will stomp on your fire until you are nothing but a flickering flame. Then, even that tiny flame can eventually burn out, or so it may seem.

This type of individual is a toxic being, who takes pleasure in the defeat of other’s dreams and ambitions. They are put out by art and musings and anything that requires a mind that is colorful and unique. No matter how mesmerizing your craft is or could be, they see it as a waste of time and would rather see you wallow in self loathing so far removed from the you that you once were.

This is the reality for so many people. There will always be someone who will want to tear you down and take any bit of beauty that you possess and beat it to a minuscule pulp. It satisfies some people on a dark level. Like a hunter who enjoys watching his prey expire, this type of person relishes in your creative demise.

My sole advice to you on this matter would be to run. Fast and hard. No matter how much you think you want or need this mere mortal around, it is not worth chipping away pieces of your soul bit by bit until the slightest breeze can bring you crumbling into an abyss. No matter how much you think you need them, you don’t. When you are down in your lowest depths of desolation, you will understand why it was never worth it.

Even if it takes reaching the edge of a breaking point, walk away. Because the moment that you do, and you begin to pick up the pieces that were so indelicately chipped away, that flame that became nothing but a pile of despondent ashes will start to smolder. At first you won’t recognize it, because for so long you buried away that part of you to be accepted by someone who never deserved to see any of your wonder in the first place{…}

Except soon you will no longer be able to deny it, because from a smoldering pile of ashes will come an unassuming glowing ember with a glimmer of hope. Then that ember will become a tiny pubescent flame dancing in all its glory. That flame will morph into a raging bonfire, with help from a little tinder and wind, of course. You’ll notice yourself wanting to gently tend that blaze that was previously gone, and then you’ll remember what it was like when you once lived and breathed by that beautiful glowing warmth that burned at the hearth of your heart.

And you’ll never let anyone put your flames out again.